i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
