I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
they're like a gay fantastic four
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
