she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
