Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
