1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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