He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
