I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
