i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
