You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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