Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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