Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
