it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
