Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
