Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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