Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's shark week go big or go home
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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