there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
