her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
