Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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