is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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