I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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