id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
