hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
