I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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