Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
