I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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