nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
