you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
