Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
