I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
