i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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