I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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