omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
