where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he shaved USA in his pubs
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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