Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
