and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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