No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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