PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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