I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
