i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
