You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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