I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
