why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
