careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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