There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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