Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
