my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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