fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
