He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
