Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
