You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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