Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
