you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
